I think we ALL need this one!
My people of the internet, it is time. You may be asking ‘Bella, is this about to become a dramatic movie monologue?’ and my answer to that is YES! Yes it is!
As I write this, I’m going through some sort of paradigm shift. I’m moving from wanting to either cut or relax my hair (to essentially ‘get rid of it’) and moving towards learning to truly love and live with it. Not as a trend or something I have to do because that’s the rule, but for myself (how I perceive myself) and dare I say, for my daughter and any other women I inspire. Now this is not to say I won’t cut or experiment. ooooh, I will! BUT I don’t want to take drastic measures based on disdain. NO! I am putting my foot down! I will love my hair first as it is! Long or short, Black or rainbow colored. Enough is absolutely enough. Okay, rant over! Let’s get into it!
Loving your hair, like loving any individual takes work. It takes waking up everyday, seeing a cotton ball on your head and saying ‘You know what? You may be an iron sponge but you’re MY iron sponge’. Here’s how we are going to get there!
Step 1: When it’s rough, loosen it. Don’t guilt yourself into keeping hair longer than you need to because you paid X amount. Stop equating your love for your hair to how much you paid to get it done. When it stops giving you joy, when it starts to upset you, REMOVE IT and try something new. 10k hair is not a death sentence
Step 2: Sometimes, skip some of your routine and do the bare minimum. It’s OKAY. Wash your hair, deep condition it, moisturise it, seal it. Good bye. Five hour wash days are all the rage right now, but they are not for everyone and that’s okay! You control your hair, it should not control you. Are you too busy to detangle follicle by follicle? That is OKAY! Own your truth, don’t be shamed into doing what you do not need to. Then when you can afford it, like other parts of your body, pamper it!
Step 3: Just like with people, your relationship with your hair changes as you get older. Sometimes, it will be great, other times you want to cut it off. Life is in seasons. You need to accept this by reminding yourself regularly. Your hair is an extension of you. It is amazing when you are amazing, it is torn up when you are. You yourself cannot be great all the time. Acknowledge that phases happen and keep it light. Don’t take it personally.
Step 4: Keep it simple. Your interaction with your hair should be as easy on you as possible. This way, you only have positive memories to make with your hair. Can’t seem to figure out how to do a good wash and go? Don’t do one when you have somewhere to go! Have your arsenal of easy go to styles and try out the complex things for fun. Simple steps
Step 5: Keep a collection of styles on hand (if you’re like me and you barely have time, create a calendar of hair styles. 2 or 3 for each month. One of my biggest pet peeves is figuring out what to do next to my hair. When you keep a list on hand, less stress on the mind too! The mind loves when the choices can be visualized instantly. Not when you have to begin to grasp from thin air. If you live a fast paced life, make a schedule of hairstyles with three choices for the month (so it’s still kind of flexible) it will save you days of decision making and fear of disappointment because you have time to think it through completely.
Unless you work with your hair, as in, your hair is your livelihood, sometimes it’s okay not not fixate on it or give it too much room in your mind. It’s okay that you’re not perfect with your routine, it’s okay that you don’t even HAVE a routine. Do your best and enjoy it! It’s just hair at the end of the day
And now my darlings, we BURN, will BLOOM and then we will BE untangled
Lots of Love,