Kind of like Christmas, Valentine’s Day can be borderline toxic when love is getting shoved down your throat with promotions in stores, social media romances, your sister getting 1000 roses. Yes, Valentine’s Day is something we all have to sit through. It’s hard spending any holiday alone but why does this one hit a little different? Why is that you’re great being on your own January, March and all the other months but when February rolls around, the torture of V Day begins?
I honestly think it’s because unlike ,most other holidays, Valentine’s day groups us into teams. It excludes us, it makes us feel like we don’t belong if we don’t have that SOMEONE to spend it with. It’s sad, yes but we can take back the love part of Valentine’s Day.
Three years ago, I had the most fun Valentine’s Day I have had till date. I was single, I had in fact just come out of a long term relationship where my partner didn’t care for or about valentine’s day and I was too weak to admit that I wanted to celebrate it every year. Being out of that, for the first time, I felt unsure about valentine’s Day. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, it was just…ODD. So I decided to take matters into my own hands. I was going to have my first ever actual valentine’s day because the sad one just didn’t count.
My action plan was to give into the world everything I wanted to get. So naturally I started with cards and flowers.
I’m a sucker for love. I’m cheesy and I wanted to be cheesy for eberyone around me. I ordered a dozen roses, individually wrapped and gave them out to the beautiful women in my life starting with my mum and my aunt. I wasn’t making cards at that time so I bought some, wrote down my own personal messages and presented them as well.
Presents! Oh, I love receiving love related presents. It felt so nice to not be holding my breath just wondering if my partner would reciprocate that love. This time, I was giving presents, expecting nothing at all. I made custom mugs for my friends. Each with their names hand-painted on, and positive messages scribbled underneath. Yes, I am a cassanova
Food! I made dinner for 6 of my dearest friends. Invited them over, set the table, popped the champagne and had a grand old time. They aren’t all around anymore but it’s so nice to still have those memories! We all wore red or pink (because I absolutely demanded it)
Party! Now, this was pre-covid, just have to add this in because I do not encourage going for a party now. But at that time, there were sooo many valentine themed events and I was invited to one (coincidentally by someone that was trying to date me lol) so I took my girls along and we danced the night away!)
Did this fill in the gap of not being with the love of my life who was doing whatever? No! But it did remind me that there is so much love in the world. It comes in different forms, through different people and it is worth exploring always. But more than that, it taught me THIS:
It really is so much better to give than receive. I felt so happy, so complete and so at ease being the giver. I will treasure this memory forever
What I’m saying in essence is that it’s your turn to create your own valentine story and it does not have to center on ONE person that is not you. Control the narrative and make the best of an otherwise cringy day.
If you’re single and stunning, what are your plans for valentine’s day? Let me know below!
We will BURN, We will BLOOM and we will BE happy
I love you for two!